There is an expression, young and dumb. I wouldn't say that I was 'dumb' but maybe stubborn, rude and petty (lol). I spoke about how I don't feel like a grown-up in one of my recent blog posts Do You Consider Yourself A Grown-Up? I may not feel like a grown-up however this post will explain a bit more in detail about how I've grown and become a tad more aware of my actions. I've had falling outs or confrontations with many people, actually 3 of my closest friends and I had falling outs but now we are closer than ever! The explanation for being so close to these friends again is all in the title of this blog. Yes boys and girls, growing up means owning up!
When I was younger I placed a lot of blame on other people, my friends, spouses and even my family. I moved to Alberta about 2 years ago from Ontario. I came to Alberta with a few skeletons in my closest to say the least.
About 3 years ago I had a strange falling out with my .... mom. Yes it sucked and I'm not going to go into major detail because it's pretty personal but my mom and I got to the point of barely talking. Our arguing was over a few different things but mainly money and arrogance. I few months before I moved to Alberta I decided that this whole situation was flat out stupid. I owned up to my wrongs and apologized for whatever I could in hopes to make things better. We now live provinces apart but I believe that our relationship is stronger than it ever has been (hey mom, I know that you are reading this). Apologizing was something that I used to find very hard to do. I was very set in my ways and felt that if I gave in I was defeated.
Two of my girlfriends (roommates at the time) and I fought over drama induced by men. It wasn't us fighting over each others men but how we didn't like the person they were dating. It's pretty disheartening that other people can be the root cause of a relationship failing. I have rekindled both of these relationships and these ladies are currently two of closest people in my life. They are both amazing women and I am beyond grateful for the connections that we share.
Even my best guy friend and I had a falling out. Back in college he lived with two girls that I was friends with at the time. The one girl and I got into a big fight and eventually we stopped talking. So since he lived with the two girls and had been friends with them longer than he had with me, him and I also stopped talking. Now back in the college days it's safe to say that him and I were both very petty so we just avoided each other after this whole friend explosion happened. I don't remember exactly when we reconnected but I know it was after I moved to Alberta. When I went back home to visit he picked me up at the airport in Toronto and we had a fun filled day with so many laughs. He truly is my spirit animal and my life wouldn't be the same without him in it.
Shortly after I moved to Alberta I decided to own up to another friend of mine. About a year before I moved we got into an argument and I was extremely harsh towards her. I treated her like SH*T because I didn't want to make myself look bad. (Shocker) this was something that I did quite often actually. A few months after I moved I contacted her and flat out apologized. We had a completely modern and millennial falling out as we had removed each other from all the socials. I owned up and confessed to her that I was basically being a little behotch and that I missed her. I explained that our friendship shouldn't be destroyed over something so ridiculous. She was grateful for this apology and because of me owning up we were able to reconnect. She is still in Ontario but we chat often and our friendship is thriving (hey girl hey, you know who you are).
To sum it all up these big and dramatic encounters all could have been avoided if I would have just swallowed my pride and communicated a bit better. I feel that a lot of my younger years were drama filled and alcohol fueled (legit alcohol made all the arguments worse). However I needed to temporarily lose these relationships in order to find out just exactly what I was missing. Owning up is something that I still struggle with as do most people. Admitting your faults is not an easy thing to do (especially all you Virgo's out there). I promise you this, owning up might sting a little at first but the feeling afterwards is way better than holding on to all of that anger, jealously and pride.
P.s. the image in this blog is by the wonderful @mushroomalice be sure to check out his content on Instagram. Until next time friends!
Xx. The Stressed Out Millennial
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