Hello everyone. I’ve been MIA for a bit. If I’m being honest I’ve had a bit of writer's block. There are a bunch of topics that I want to discuss however when I write about something I need to feel 100% confident in the content that I am posting all over the web. I’ve also been going through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I figured this topic would be a great way for me to get some things off of my chest and hopefully help you guys understand perfectionism at its best and worst moments.
What exactly is a perfectionist? Well it’s actually a really hard thing to explain. The reason that I say this is because the idea of perfection is something that can be viewed differently to each person. But a quick explanation is someone that refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.
Do you ever do something and then instantly regret it? ME TOO. Well I do this a lot. You would think that with being a perfectionist nothing could possibly go wrong right? NOPE. I find that the majority of my anxiety stems from trying to be perfect all of the time. When I perform a task or plan something that doesn’t go exactly how I envisioned it going, I absolutely lose my mind! Being a perfectionist is a mind game. It’s a constant concern of striving for no flaws in everything that I do. I always need to be the winner (chicken dinner).
It’s not all bad when it comes to being a perfectionist. With being a perfectionist I earn a lot of people’s respect and trust. I don’t want to toot my own horn here so let me explain. People are able to trust me after seeing that I take time and pride in what I am doing. They think oh she's got this, she’s able to handle this on her own, I’ll leave her be. Usually this allows me to land roles in which I have more responsibility than others.
Perfectionism is a high strung personality trait. It’s something that can get you into trouble in relationships if the other person has similar views or the same values towards perfection. My boyfriend and I struggle with this sometimes. We both want to wear the pants so to speak. We both like order or control over situations but we get away with this (most of the time) because one of us is submissive or lacks interest in that particular situation. For example, my boyfriend is very handy. He can fix things (pretty much anything), put stuff together and is a very logical thinker. I on the other hand am not handy. I am okay with letting him take the lead (be the perfectionist) in these situations because they are not of interest to me. But let me tell you if that boy tries to fold a towel all willy nilly, LOOK OUT! What I am getting at is it’s okay to hold yourself to a high standard of perfection, but don’t completely knock yourself down in the process. When you begin to criticize your own work you need to ask yourself why are you being so hard on yourself? Try to be open to others opinions and just because they are different than yours that doesn’t mean they are wrong, they are simply different. What I’ve come to realize is that being more understanding of others' tips or help can have a great impact on the tasks that I perform and quite frankly my sanity. It helps alleviate my stress that's tied to my perfectionism.
I’m still working on ways to cope with how I react to certain situations and the stress that builds up from the way that I am. So much stress in my life is self inflicted by these games that I constantly play with myself in my head. I’ve been this way since as long as I can remember and coming to terms with my actions is a relatively new finding. When writing this post it’s easy to look at the bigger picture and see what things I need to do to help with the stresses that come with being a perfectionist, but when I’m presented with a situation my perfectionism kicks in and takes over. I am suggesting that all of you perfectionists be mindful of others and also YOURSELF. Often the biggest misconception of a perfectionist is that we are rude or not open to others' opinions when really we are just stuck in our ways and trying to win at our own game.
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Xx. The Stressed Out Millennial
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